I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
