it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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