Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
