Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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