Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
