One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
