I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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