So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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