Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
this just has baby written all over it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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