so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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