it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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