the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
