Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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