We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
