her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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