with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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