thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
