i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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