Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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