I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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