i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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