ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How naked do you want me to be?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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