I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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