I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
