honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
