I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
