what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
