I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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