So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
