He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
