u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
