ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
