WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
