She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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