yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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