I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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