Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I would fuck him just for his dog
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
