I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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