I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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