3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
