You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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