she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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