you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
