Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
