I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
