Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
