Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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