my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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