i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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