My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
