so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
