I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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