Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
