I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
