The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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