I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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